Let’s be honest, nobody loves thinking about their own death. It’s a bit like that sock that disappears in the dryer – you know it’s out there somewhere, but facing it head-on is… less than thrilling. But what if facing your mortality could actually lead to something positive? Something even empowering?
That’s the power of Dr. Kim Harms’s How to Build a Legacy to Die For. This isn’t your grandmother’s stuffy estate-planning manual. This book tackles the inevitable – death. It’s a deeply personal and surprisingly uplifting guide that blends practical advice with genuine emotional intelligence. Kim, a dentist, philanthropist, and seasoned speaker, brings a unique perspective shaped by a life filled with both joy and profound loss—experiences she shares with remarkable openness and humor.
Unlike dry legal texts, How to Build a Legacy to Die For tackles the emotional aspects of legacy planning with the same care it gives to the legal details. Kim, a woman who’s faced more than her fair share of life’s curveballs, guides you through creating a legacy that’s truly yours. This book isn’t simply about dividing up your assets. It’s about more than just the stacks of cash in the bank; it’s about crafting a life – and a lasting impact – that truly resonates.
Kim ideates some enlightening Pillars of a Meaningful Life, which aren’t about achieving some nebulous ideal of perfection. They are about building a life rich with experiences, relationships, and purpose. It’s about making conscious choices, both big and small, that align with your values and create a positive ripple effect in the world. She affirms that love isn’t a fluffy feeling; it’s a powerful force built on acceptance, understanding, and appreciation. Kim shares the story of her own mother, a woman who, despite battling bipolar disorder, showered her children with unwavering love. Such poignant tales show how unconditional love, even in the face of adversity, creates an enduring legacy that transcends material possessions.
Kim’s life journey – from a childhood marked by challenges to her transformative work with genocide survivors in Rwanda – uniquely informs her approach. Her emotional and eye-opening journey in Rwanda, years after the genocide that claimed nearly a million lives, carved readers’ hearts with an eternal gloominess. She paints a vivid picture of the resilience and strength of the survivors, particularly their incredible capacity for forgiveness and rebuilding their shattered lives. Personal stories of survival illustrate the transformative power of reconciliation like Tutsi and Hutu women uniting to craft a future brighter than a Kigali sunrise. This story was a testament to the human spirit’s capacity for healing and building a better future, even from the ashes of unimaginable trauma.
In her discussion of Ubumuntu—humanity and kindness—Kim realized the keen consequences of forgiveness as a path to peace. Through interviews with survivors like Pastor Maurice, she uncovers the power of seeing humanity even in the darkest times and choosing forgiveness over vengeance. It’s a bit like opting for a hug over a grudge, and who doesn’t need more hugs?
The book lays marvelous groundwork for a life well-lived, a life that is not merely endured but actively shaped and celebrated. It delves into the things that really matter – love (all kinds!), resilience, laughter, and even the power of a good piece of art. Think of this book as a crash course in being a truly great human.
Next, we face through this book the inevitable, some slightly serious topics – death, wills, and all that jazz. But fear not! Kim makes it manageable and enriching. She teaches about approaching the end of life with intentionality and grace. The ‘legacy of shedding’ and ‘working towards a good death’ are remarkable notions curated by Kim. She quips about the overwhelming task of decluttering her own garage, a process that unexpectedly became a journey of letting go of the past and preparing for the future. This story turned out to act like a piece of practical advice and provided emotional support for anyone facing this daunting but necessary task of “letting go.” Moreover, Kim doesn’t shy away from sharing her own grief after losing her husband. She talks about the heavy weight of unresolved feelings, and how it showed her, painfully, why having those tough conversations before it’s too late is so crucial. It’s a powerful reminder that end-of-life planning is about more than just paperwork—it’s about protecting the hearts of the people you love.
Kim dives headfirst into the big, existential question—death. Not the morbid, “let’s curl up and cry” kind of death, but the “let’s talk about it openly and maybe not be terrified” kind. She points out that we humans seem to fear it more than anything—except, oddly enough, corrupt politicians (really, look it up). But despite this deep-rooted fear, death itself is actually pretty peaceful. We associate it with a “Grim Reaper” because, well, life can be grim. But Kim suggests we might need to rebrand death—what if it’s actually a “Gentle Reaper” just guiding us into a new chapter?
Kim tackles the often-taboo topic of death with a gentle, light-hearted touch, even suggesting a “meme-orial” to bring some humor to your final send-off. This is where the rubber meets the road. Her “Death Prepper’s Workbook” is a groundbreaking approach to end-of-life planning. This innovative workbook is a game-changer in the world of legacy planning. It is a profound yet straightforward manual for those who wish to leave a well-organized legacy for their loved ones. It is peppered with humor and wisdom, making the daunting task of preparing for death seem not only manageable but also a final act of love. This workbook goes beyond the typical legal checklist and offers emotional support and practical tools to ensure your final wishes are honored and your loved ones are well-cared for. It’s broken down into sections, covering everything from legal and financial preparations to personal preferences for end-of-life arrangements. The checklist is designed to be personalized—users are encouraged to cross off irrelevant items and check off completed tasks.
Key Areas Covered:
Legal & Financial: Naming executors, accountants, attorneys, and financial advisors; preparing power of attorney documents, living wills, and last wills and testaments; listing personal information, asset locations, and account details (bank accounts, credit cards, investments, insurance policies, etc.); detailing real estate and vehicle ownership.
Digital Assets: Listing passwords for online accounts (email, social media, financial institutions, etc.).
End-of-Life Arrangements: Organ/tissue donation preferences; funeral plans (burial, cremation, etc.); obituary details; pallbearers; memorial preferences (including a humorous “meme-orial” option).
Business-Related: For business owners, the checklist includes preparations for business transitions, including employee information and financial records.
Post-Death Arrangements: Notifying important parties; arrangements for pets; instructions for handling remaining possessions; payment for post-death cleanup services.
While death leaves a big hole, it doesn’t have to be a dark, scary abyss.
Kim peppers the discussion with personal reflections, sharing how her Christian belief in heaven helped her cope with the deaths of her loved ones. Her mother’s death, for an instance, was clouded by church judgment, but the tides have since shifted. Kim’s own experiences with grief and the comfort he found in community support reveal that, While death leaves a big hole, it doesn’t have to be a dark, scary abyss.
Let’s Talk About Death because Denial Isn’t a Strategy, Kim affirms. She points out the irony of avoiding death talks—after all, it’s the one event we all have in common. Imagine the chaos if no one knows your final wishes or where you stashed that all-important folder of documents. By tackling this now, you gift your loved ones peace of mind and avoid posthumous pandemonium. So, gather your kin, pour some tea (or something stronger), and start the conversation. Because, as Kim wisely notes, while we can’t dodge death, we can certainly make its aftermath a lot smoother for those we leave behind. From preparing letters of intent and healthcare directives to considering organ donation, no one prepares you for death better than the book How to Build a Legacy to Die For. Kim’s family discussions about inheritance and end-of-life wishes showed how open communication, even around tough topics, can bring peace and unity. She also shared the story of her husband’s life-saving liver transplant, instilling the incredible impact of organ donation. These stories reveal how you can create a legacy that goes beyond your own life and offers hope and healing to others.
Dr. Kim Harms walks you through creating a rock-solid legacy plan that ensures your wishes are clear and your loved ones are taken care of. Think of it as the ultimate “to-do” list for your afterlife. Kim’s personal stories – from her childhood to her work in Rwanda, exploring the hilarious chaos of family life – are woven throughout the book, making this more than just a guide; it’s a heartwarming, insightful, and often hilarious journey.
How to Build a Legacy to Die For isn’t just about preparing for the end; it’s about polishing the now. It’s a journey of self-discovery, a celebration of life. So, are you ready to ditch the morbid dread and embrace the opportunity to build a legacy that truly shines? Then grab a copy of How to Build a Legacy to Die For – it might just be the most important book you ever read.